Addiction to Worry

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression because of it. During our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole is always torturer. Many words from the mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. "What if I never get well?" "What if my husband gets sick?" "What if I run out of money?" (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would go on to be successful). "What if my son gets into drugs?" "What if my children do not get into a good university?" "What if someone breaks into the house ?"

Her worry is not only causing her depression, but also contributes to their illness, if not actually causing it. Her worry about so much stress in her body that her immune system can not do its job of keeping the good. Yet even the awareness that it is a concern which is why her depression and perhaps even her illness did not stop Carole from worrying. She was addicted to it. She was unconsciously addicted to a sense of control that worry gave her.

I understood it well because I came from a long line of worriers. My grandmother's whole life was about caring. She lived with us, as I was growing up and I can not remember ever seeing the look on her face worries. Same with my mother - constant worry. Of course, I picked up on it and become a torturer. However, unlike my mother and grandmother, who worried daily until the day he died, I decided I did not want to live this način.Prekretnica came to me the day my husband and I are going to the beach and I started to worry that the the house will burn down and my children will die. I became so upset from the worry that we had to turn around and come home. Then I knew I had to do something about it.

as I began to investigate the cause of worry, I realized that worriers believe that worry will stop bad things from happening. My mother worried her whole life and none of the bad stuff is worried about ever happened. She concluded that nothing bad happened, because it is concerned! She really believed that he could control things with her worry. My father, however, never worried about anything, and nothing bad happened to him either. The mother believed that nothing bad happened to my father because of her worries! She really believed until the day she died (from heart problems to May because of his constant worry) that if she ceased to worry, everything will fall apart. My father is still alive at 92, even without having to worry about it!

It is not easy to stop caring when you were practicing caring for most of his life. In order for me to stop worrying, I should have recognized that the belief that worry has control over the results is a complete illusion. I needed to see that not only concern is the loss of time, but it can have serious negative effects on health and wellbeing. Once I understood, I was able to notice your stomach clenching that occurred when I was worried and stop the thoughts that cause stress.

Carole is in the process of learning. She sees that her worry makes her feel very anxious and depressed. She sees that she does not worry, it's not nearly as tired as when she lets her take care of addiction. She sees that when she stays in the moment, but projected into the future, it feels a lot bolje.Ključ for Carole in stopping worrying in accepting that worry does not give her control.

Giving up the illusion of control that worry us is not easy for anyone who cares. However, there is an interesting paradox regarding worry. I found that when I was at the present time, we have much better chances to make decisions that support my highest good than when I'm stuck thinking about the future. Instead of giving us control, worry prevents us from being present enough to make a loving choice for yourself and others. Concerns actually ends up giving us less control than more!